There is no such thing as a "mirror shield"...

[wolfrose]

You are obviouosly a delisional idiot who bases her magickal knowledge on fantasy novels.
How quaint.

That was said to me by some 20 year old "I'm a dark witch" little girl because she threatened to hex a friend of mine over a blog entry and I warned her that my friend was protected by a mirror shield. According to miss all powerful dark witch there is no such thing as a mirror shield so I must have gotten it from a fantasy novel.

You know what, I think I'm getting too old for this. LOL!

Time to repost...
The Charge of the Beeotch
By: Arwen Nightstar and Gwen Wolfrose

Listen to the words of the Great Beeotch she who of old is known as Arwen, Inanna, Jaz, Kriselda, Lynna, Raven, Suzi, and Wolfrose, and by many other names, some best left censored:

Whenever you have need of anything once in the month, and better it be when it is not my moontime or any other time when I might be tired or already irritable, then shall you gather and adore me, who am Queen of all Bitches. There shall you gather, you who desire to learn the true Art of Bitchcraft, yet have not honed it to razor sharp precision; to these I will teach the esoterism of true bitchiness. And you shall be free from fluff; and as a sign that you are truly free, you shall cite tradition, correct misconception, bad grammar, spelling errors, and demand proper capitalization, and punctuation. For I am educated and can read above third grade level. Keep pure your highest ideal; strive ever towards it and if anyone tries to stop you, smack them hard upside the head. For mine is the determination to succeed and educate the ignorant.

I am the Queen Mother Bitch, Who can give the Gift of Joy unto the heart of man or woman if you have not seriously ticked me off. On Earth, I give the Knowledge that to communicate effectively and honestly is no crime; and beyond death, I give peace from the fools who have annoyed you and freedom from those fools and reunion with other great Bitches who have gone before you. And actually, I do demand sacrifice, for behold; Putting up with these twits wears on my nerves. I am the Bitch of All Living and My Ire is poured out upon the Earth when I am grumpy.

Hear ye the Words of the Star Goddess: She under Whose Feet all stupid people are Dust, Whose Body encircleth the Universe especially when She is bloated.

I, Who am the Bitch Queen of the Earth and the Black Mood amongst the Stars, and the Mystery of why idiots are not drowned in my Waters, and the Desire of the heart of man to avoid Me when I get like this. I call unto thy soul, all ye who would be Bitches: "Arise! And come unto Me!"

For I am the Soul of the Bitch, Who giveth Crap back to the Universe: from Me all things proceed, and unto Me all things must return and if they don't get here fast enough, I may hurt something. And before My Face, which is bitchy and known to all gods and men, thine innermost Bitch Self shall be enfolded in the Rapture of the Infinite Bitch.

Let My Worship be within the heart that tolerates no shit, for behold: all acts of bitchiness and honesty are my rituals. And therefore let there be bitching and strength, honesty and compassion, honor and humor, mirth and reverence within you.

And thou who thinkest to seek for Me, know thy seeking and yearning shall avail thee not, unless thou knowest the Mystery: that if thou are stupid who seekest Me, then thou shalt never find Me.

For behold, I have been with thee from the beginning; and I am That which is attained at the end of PMS.

Copyright © 2001 Arwen Nightstar and Gwen Wolfrose, all rights reserved. May be reposted anywhere so long as this copyright is included.

Remember kids, dark bunnies are just as toxic as the fluffy ones.

Comments

[silverie.livejournal.com]

Oh, how I love you! This is just awesome. I know now that I'm not yet a True Bitch, but I think I come awfully close to attaining that sacred title. :D

[herbmcsidhe.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the reminder. I was just telling a couple of folk earlier today that all the truly great Priestesses are Bitches, and now I have documentation to back it up!

Yes!

[wymzie.livejournal.com]

I added this to my memories!
I liked it before and now it means so much more as I get older...and unwilling to put up with any more crap!
Thanx for sharing
Valna

[arc-stormcrow.livejournal.com]

Aside: It's great to look at the list of names at the beginning and say, "Yep, uh-huh, know her too, yep..." ::laughs::

No such thing as a mirror shield? WTF? Guess I'd better not tell little Miss Darkenwytch some of the more creative shielding methods I've seen. Cycling shields and point-defense systems would probably hurt her widdle head.

off topic, D_P_S related

[face-furniture.livejournal.com]

Hi, I've done just something stupid and posted something to D_P_S I didn't mean to. I know, it was dumb, any suggestions?
*hangs head in embarrassed shame*

[haris-on-tour.livejournal.com]

Don't you just hate it when someone points out that you've been "delisional" all this time? I enjoy being insulted by morons who can't even spell the insults they're hurling.